How to win the undying gratitude of the spa* director:
*Formerly known as a Boot Camp
1. Trill before the beat as often as possible.
2. When he corrects you, trill late.
3. Never vary your articulation.
4. When he demonstrates a passage for you, claim that you cannot hear any difference.
5. Play out of tune - especially on notes that are not usually a problem.
6. When he asks you to adjust your pitch, overcompensate in the opposite direction.
7. Grip your flute as tightly as possible, after all it is an expensive piece of equipment, and you wouldn't want to drop it.
8. When he asks you to 'lighten up', laugh.
9. During a prelude exercise, always break one of the restrictions.
10. When he calls you on it, fix the restriction, but break a different one.
11. Over-dot all dotted rhythms.
12. When he corrects you, put the dot on the other note. (He's particularly fond of the Scottish snap!)
13. Whine frequently.